September 2010

Help me help you

September 29, 2010

I am really funny. Thus, I have lots of funny stories to tell all the time. I am also plagued with a disease that makes decisions very hard, impossible even. So sometimes I am thinking of so many funny things that I can’t decide what to write about and it makes my head explode and [...]

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Dating blows chunks

September 22, 2010

Seriously, when I look at people who are married, I’m all like…where.the.eff. did you find each other? I am convinced that they are really freaky mcfreaks-a-lot people in regular people masks and clothes. Or super annoying video gamers. Or stupid. I don’t go on a ton of dates, mostly because my ability to meet/flirt with [...]

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5 things you can do with eggs…and one you really shouldn’t

September 19, 2010

Eggs are pretty easy to cook. Oh wait, just kidding, they’re like a yolky enigma wrapped in a precious, fragile shell. It SHOULD be easy. Water + boil + eggs = good. It’s simple third grade math. But, here’s an example of the hard way to cook an egg. If you’re not a math person, [...]

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Being pregnant seems scary. And then it just gets worse.

September 17, 2010

Seriously, working at a hospital must be the coolest job ever because I feel like they just love to eff with people on the regular. I learned this over the past few weeks after my best friend M. had her baby. They’re all like, hey, your baby is fine, but we’re just going to hook [...]

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If someone sent me some money in the mail for free…..

September 14, 2010

So I got a tax refund this week – way to go adulthood/homeownership! Now, I could spend that money on something practical like a fence or other home improvement project. Or, I could put it in my savings account or invest in a mid-cap stock. JUST KIDDING. That shit is for suckers. You might suggest [...]

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The one where you sneak a peek into my sick and twisted mind

September 8, 2010

So MODG started off the week lamenting about what a tragedy it was to go back to work. She would rather get murdered and eaten by a pirate bird. Shut the front door. This beyotch is pregs so you might be thinking, that is messed up, her hormones must be whacked to think of something [...]

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Are you ready for some footbaaaaaaaaaall???? BREES NUTS IN THE HOUSE.

September 5, 2010

This is only my second year to play Fantasy Football. So, obviously, I would sell my own grandmother to win. No, I don’t have testicles. Go ahead and check between my legs. I just hate to lose at anything, especially Fantasy Football and Scattergories. This year, my team (BREES NUTS…what! what!) is going to totally [...]

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How does this internet thing work again?

September 2, 2010

I am really bad and technology and trends. On one hand, I can type. On the other, acronyms make my head hurt so things like RSS and mySQL are really over my brain capacity. I don’t even really know how to make a blog other than the writing funny shit part because I am the [...]

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Creepy and weird crafts make me smile…happy hump day!

September 1, 2010

Sarah’s post over at Why is that weird? about awesome/creepy nesting dolls inspired me to peep out some other gross arts and crafts projects that I need to have in my life with a quickness. You and Stevie Nicks on a tamborine. Functional AND fabulous. Make your own gum art. Buy one of the pre-chewed [...]

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