Just sit right back and I’ll tell you a Cedar Creek Lake tale

Here’s how I like to spend vacation time with my family: reading, sitting under the shade, pouring myself a tall, refreshing glass of something, eating Goldfish. See a theme here? I don’t like to get too outside of myself.

You want to know why? Debilitating fear of being made fun of. If you’re thinking to yourself, that’s so weird, then you have NEVER. MET. MY. FAMILY. You have to act with military precision constantly. One false move and you’re that day’s comedic fresh meat. One trip and fall, one poorly timed joke and you will never live it down. And by never, I mean until the next time someone else effs up. And that someone is usually my aunt L (Love ya!)

Ironically, I am quite the ringleader of jokes and joshing and chiding, but we’ll just file that under: She can dish it, but can’t take it. And that’s fine. I admit it.

Side note: A good example of this is the time my Papa was ordering beach shirts for the whole fam. He asked my size, I of course had a snarky answer: “I’ll take an extra, extra small.” His response? “I was talking about your shirt size, not your bra size.” What the hell, Papa? That stings.

Anyway, back to Cedar Creek Lake. The fam is doing what we do, just kicking back and enjoying the day, telling the same stories over and over. People are taking out the jet skis and returning them within a reasonable amount of time – SEE WHAT I JUST DID THERE WITH THE FORESHADOWING?!? The kids are all fawning over baby O, my best friend’s baby boy who has become our family mascot because all the little cousins are girls so my boy cousins, uncles and Papa are excited to have someone little they can throw around like a football (that never actually happened.)

My cousin E and her boyfriend are there (you might remember the little nuggets from this family adventure post) and they decide to take the jet ski out for a spin.

And by spin, I mean they get completely lost, no one notices it for like two hours and no one who is actually AT the lake house is answering their phones. Finally through the miracle of telecommunications, E calls her dad who is back in Dallas who calls Papa who can hardly even hear his phone ring and we get the information about where E and G are stranded.

Just to clarify, Cedar Creek Lake is not small. In fact, I would have to say that it is very large. Our house is in a cove and, if you go out too far, you enter what we like to call “the big lake.” Sort of how country parents warn their children about “the big city.” Once you hit the big lake, all sorts of shady things can happen. People drive faster, the wakes are bigger, you lose you equilibrium and all of a sudden. BAM! You’re lost.

Papa and my little brother K head out to find the lost couple. I’m already thinking of ways to make fun of them. My mom has out the map, which is totally laughable if you know my mom (love you, Mom!) I inherited her horrible sense of direction.

The boys come back empty handed. By that time, we have slightly more information at this point, which is totally incorrect, but we don’t know it. So both my little brothers valiently take off again and, once again, come back empty handed.

By this time, honestly, I lost track of time. I figured those two crazy kids had stumbled upon a keg party or maybe a meth lab and were having the time of their lives. Plus, I started drinking Skinnygirl margaritas before anyone even thought to ask where the lovebirds were so I was more of a “stand at the side and watch/make snarky comments” kind of helper instead of the kind of helper who actually helps. Hey, don’t judge. Every tense situation has to have some comedic relief.

A couple more phone calls and all the menfolk decide just to drive to pick up E and G. My uncle J drives the jet ski back, the kids have already made glittered signs that say “Welcome Home” and we make them walk through a tunnel of shame (you know, like after little kids’ soccer games) before we let them back into the house.

Then we discovered where they actually were the entire time. Allow me to draw you a not to scale and poorly executed map:

All that excitement pretty much overshadowed the rest of the day, but there was still all the fun of fishing, fireworks, swimming, etc.

I think the lesson here kids is this: Don’t try anything that seems difficult. Or even if it seems easy, but you’ve never tried it before, you should probably think twice about that, too.

UPDATE: Courtesy of Aunt D, here are some pics of the intrepid travelers upon their joyous return back to the lake house: