About
What up? I don’t know anyone who likes writing about themselves, except for people who write autobiographies and we all know those people are just assholes.
Remember when “25 Things” was a “thing” on Facebook? Well, that’s the last time I really thought about the stuff and blood and guts that make me who I am. While it’s not on the list explicitly, one thing I am is lazy. So I’m going to recycle that information here for you freaks who want to stalk me out:
1. I have never broken or sprained anything…and probably just jinxed myself by saying that.
2. Kids love me.
3. The first time I tried spicy food was about 15 years ago at a Taco Bell with my dad when he let me eat jalapenos straight.
4. I can’t wait to be old so when I curse people think it is funny, instead of rude.
5. When I retire, I want to travel the country and go to small town festivals.
6. I squint all the time because I can’t put anything in my eyes and I think glasses make me look nerdy, even though I am a nerd. (This should be amended because I actually wear glasses now….)
7. I have never gotten flowers from anyone but my mom and dad.
8. I am always the absolute last person to jump on fashion trends – I just started wearing leggings last month.
9. I enjoy giving gifts as much as getting them.
10. I played softball for eight years and my nickname was Roadrunner.
11. One of my life goals is to see all Seven Wonders of the World.
12. Sometimes, I don’t see what all the fuss is about with Oprah.
13. My brothers and sister are the funniest people I know. I like to think I taught them well 
14. My earliest memory of ever getting in trouble is when I threw a handful of rocks in a boy’s face in first grade. My teacher sent home a parent notice…and I’m sure my parents will say it went downhill from there.
15. I love watching TV shows about drug addiction or how things get made.
16. Watching people brush their teeth grosses me out.
17. In my wildest dreams, I am a famous artist, a reclusive writer or a lounge singer in a smoky bar.
18. I am passionate about words. Reading is my favorite pastime, I could do crosswords all day and I wish letter writing would come back in style.
19. Regina Spektor at the House of Blues is the best concert I have ever been to.
20. I love saving money. My dad says I throw nickels around like manhole covers.
21. If I am having a bad day, my favorite thing to do is buy a cookbook. Some girls plan their ultimate wedding…I plan my ultimate kitchen.
22. I learned to surf and to ski in the same year about two years ago…next adventure on my list is a culinary trip to France or Italy.
23. My favorite holiday is Mardi Gras.
24. I wish I had invented the Slanket.
25. I believe that God gave me curly hair because He knew I would be too lazy to style it if it were straight.