I’m totally a vulture. No wait, maybe a termite.

February 10, 2011

This is a Valentine’s Day post. I know: totally blech and it makes me want to vomit, too. But, I am here to bring you relevant news and, let’s face it, V-D is totally relevant in ours lives. Hallmark commercials. Chocolate overdosing. Restaurant reservations (for amateurs only, of course!) I don’t have to worry about [...]

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I’ll take 12 Soco Lime shots and one egg salad sandwich, please

February 2, 2011

That pretty much sums up my family weekend in Shreveport. Yes, Shreveport. 300 miles away from Dallas, gamblers haven, down market version of Vegas. That Shreveport. Lots of shots. A little bit of eating. Worshipping at the one-armed bandit.  Some horse racing. Daiquiris. Hundred play penny poker. First a little background. Every time one of [...]

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Nice try, Universe….I’m still a psycho two-faced Gemini

January 14, 2011

Last time I checked, I pretty much checked off every box on the checklist of crazy stuff that Geminis do. Then, I here some BS about the horoscopes getting all switched around. Yesterday, I was a bad ass Gemini with a cool twin symbol thing. And now I’m some weak bull Taurus. I think not. [...]

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An Ode to Margaritas

January 14, 2011

As I said in the bathtub tonight and contemplated the important things about life…let me clarify. When I say important things, I mean I was switching off between thinking about whether it was worse to sit on a cold toilet seat or a warm toilet seat (verdict: cold) and singing the lyrics to Shoop! in [...]

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Lord have mercy, I just want to be a hippie

January 11, 2011

I want to be a hippie. Like majorly bad. Not an actual hippie because I don’t drop acid, I hate going to music festivals and the thought of protesting something, even peacefully, makes me break out in hives. But, I do love peace. And I love love. And I love personal freedom. Questioning authority? Yes, [...]

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(One of the) Best Things about Having a Baby

January 4, 2011

This post was inspired by the super skinny before, during and after (bitch) her pregnancy Amanda over at Martinis or Diaper Genies. She just had her first baby and totally talks about all the gross and awesome things about having a baby, including, but not limited to eating your placenta. For reals. Check it out. [...]

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Where are all the cute, eligible bachelors people?

December 29, 2010

For some reason – maybe it’s the holidays? maybe the renewing spirt of the new year and everyone making resolutions to do things differently next year – a lot of people have been talking to me about meeting a nice, young man in 2011. I get it. I’m single. But, the thing I like the [...]

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Some things never change

December 16, 2010

I’m the type of person who never changes. I’m the one at the high school reunion that acts the same as they did like 20 years ago. I might not go out as much (during the week) or I might wear glasses now (NERD!) but I’m essentially the same. I am too loud, really funny, [...]

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The Relish Tray

November 23, 2010

Ah, Thanksgiving. Family time. Turkeys and sides of all shapes and sizes. And, if you belong to my clan, the relish tray. The iconic relish tray. How can I explain such a thing? If you don’t have the relish tray phenomenon in your family, you’re really missing out on a lot of good material. Emails [...]

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Interesting how this happens: A Fantasy Football Graph

November 14, 2010
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